Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Pick Up Lines...Part Deux

(Yes I am quite aware that I am behind on my blogs. It has been a hectic last week and a half. To be honest, I am just freaking tired. It’s 4:38 a.m and I am in such pain that laying down is impossible, much less sleeping. So, here I am, tired as all get out but unable to take the pain anymore, and figured this would be a good time to catch up on some blogs that needed to be done.)

A couple of weeks ago, I presented you all with a blog on pickup lines and stated I would do a part two to it featuring pick up lines that you gave to me. Since doing that blog, I switched sites, and the comments were left behind on my old blog spot.

P.W. stated, “My husband is a fool. Really. I love him. He is very good to me and very supportive of whatever I want to do. That said, he is also a complete dork.
One day, years ago, he walked in the door from work, licked his thumb and wiped it on my shirt. (Really) I can’t imagine the look I gave him. He said to me, in his, “I’m trying to be sexy” voice, “Baby, we need to get you out of those wet clothes.” I about peed my pants (which would have made more wet clothes, I guess!) Needless to say, I just laughed. Very hard.
I was a waitress in a bar for a short time. A strange, drunk man walked right up to me, nose to nose (okay, he had to squat a little) and said, “You have the most seductive eyes. Bedroom eyes. What do you think?” To which I could only reply, “Not your bedroom.”
These are the two ‘pick up lines’ that stick in my mind. Not many, and likely not original, but funny nonetheless.I look forward to seeing what others have heard! Let the pick ups begin!”

B.C. said, “I was sitting by myself at a bar, and had just ordered a Jack and coke. The man sitting a barstool away (who could’ve been old enough to be my grandfather, btw) apparently overheard my order. He scooted over so that he was sitting beside me, and said, “Hey, is your name Coke? ‘Cause I’m Jack, and I think we could go really good together.”

L.S. stated, ”damn baby girl…I wouldn’t mind bending you over”. He was sober and trying to grope my ass as I was ordering a drink at the bar.

Elly followed up with, “Do you have a cell phone I could use? Someones gotta call God and let him know one of his angels is missing.”

I also got a couple from guys.
John said, “If I were a squirrel, could I bust a nut in your bush?”
“What fucks like a tiger and winks?” (Wait for an answer, wink, and walk away)

Jay said, “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” (From what I hear, this one actually worked, Don’t ask me how)

And last but not least, a few anonymous ones, thanks to all who shared these…
“You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.”
“Your parents must be wrestlers, cause that ass is slammin”
“Do these pants make my dick look too big?”
“I put the STD in STUD. Now all I need is U”
“I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house?”

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