Saturday, July 23, 2011

Things I Never Plan to Do

We all have our things we want to do, you know, our bucket lists. Things we want to cross off our lists before we die. Whether it's visiting Scotland, collecting a thousand books for my personal library, or wanting to have Gerard Butler kiss me and getting a picture to prove it, we all have our lists tucked away. On the other side of the spectrum, do you have a list of things you never (extra emphasis on this word, it's extra important because it's in italics AND bold) want to do? Oh yes, I do!

  • Bungee Jumping - Nothing says instant heart attack like jumping from a high place (I'm scared of heights) and spiraling at an undetermined amount of speed to the ground below in hopes that a really big rubber band is gonna snap you back up before you eat the ground, giving you a permanent case of concrete face. If you are lucky, it will catch you and fling back up in the air, repeatedly, bouncing you up and down while you pray to whatever higher power that if you get out alive, you will never have sex again. (or whatever you decide to swear off or do) Yeah um, no thank you.
  • Skydiving - I'd rather bungee jump. I don't mind airplanes, but the thought of putting on a backpack and jumping out of one from 5 million feet in the air and hoping that my backpack will open and i'll float slowly to the ground doesn't sound fun at all. Besides, I've seen what happened to Wile E. when his opened, stupid anvils.
  • Skiing - YEAH! Sliding down a mountain side with twists and turns with two long boards on my feet and two sticks to guide me. I see broken bones if not death. I can't walk without falling over my own two feet, enough said.
There are a few more I could add here but I think I'll leave it as is for now. What about you? What things would you absolutely not try?

No comments:

Post a Comment