So Mr. Husband and I are laying in bed talking the other night and he decides he wants to impart some knowledge and stories to me and this blog. So, fair warning and apologies in advance...this is what I put up with on a day to day basis, and yes, even at bedtime.
Now somehow, we have come upon the topic of The Avengers movie and how he can't see it when it comes out....and this is how it went...
Mr. Husband - "You do know, I can't see The Avengers when it comes out."
Me - "Why is that honey?"
Mr. H - "Because I could be dead by then."
Me - "You can't die, you promised me you wouldn't die on me til AFTER 2012 when you have seen the movie."
Mr. H - "But I haven't seen Thor or Captain America yet."
Me - "So we will rent them when they come out. It shouldn't be too long from now."
Mr. H - "But I could die before they come out on Redbox."
Me - *sigh* "I seriously doubt you are going to die before they come out."
Mr. H - "Well I could. A meteorite the size of a quarter could come down and hit me in just the right spot on my head, and explode it off."
Me- "Really honey? Meteorite, size of quarter? Explode your head off? I seriously doubt that would happen."
Mr H - "I could be making toast and die."
Me - "Millions of people make toast, it's not a big deal."
Mr. H - "While they are pooping?"
Me - "WHAT? How on earth are you going to kill yourself while making toast and pooping?"
Mr. H - "I could be making toast while taking my morning poop and decide to shower I'm done."
Me - "Still not seeing how you would die from that. How on earth are you going die from showering while making toast? The plug wouldn't reach."
Mr. H - "Extension cord."
Me - *sighs again* Why would you even make toast? You don't eat it."
Mr. H - "Because I don't drink coffee."
Me - "Yes honey, that right there explains it all." *eye roll*
Mr. H - "Oh oh, I could drown in our pool."
Me - "Our pool is 3 and a half feet deep. We use it just to cool off. You aren't going to drown in it. We won't let you."
Mr. H - "Oh, it could happen. I could get a severe cramp and not be able to get up and drown that way."
Me -"You couldn't just sit up?"
Mr. H - "It could be a bad cramp and I wouldn't think to do that because the pain is so bad I can't think straight."
Me - "I think mom and I could help you to sit up."
Mr. H - "No you couldn't, the flailing would be too bad, you wouldn't be able to grab me and I would drown."
Me - "Okay honey. By the way, where do you come up with stuff?"
Mr. H - "It just comes to me."
I honestly wish I had his imagination. This was part one of the conversation, it goes on for a good hour. (this is about 10 minutes) I will split it up throughout the week. Welcome to my crazy world