Monday, March 12, 2012

2 a.m. Randomness

I am woman, I am invincible, and man, I am tired....and I can't sleep. Go figure. Mr. Husband has been sick and he can be rather loud while sleeping right now. Between that and my head, I haven't a good nights sleep since, well, I can't remember. Some nights, I hate being a woman. We go to bed, and no matter how tired we are, our head kicks into overtime and I will lay there for hours thinking about nothing that is really so important that I should be losing sleep over it. I know I'm not alone in this one. Mr. Husband can just lay down, and be asleep within minutes, must be nice. I will admit, I am jealous. And more often than not, I would just love to do something loud and annoying just so I am not the only one awake.

Last night was a weird night for me. I was laying in bed, just about to drift off, and all of a sudden, I felt like I am being stared it. Not just stared at, but an overly uncomfortable feeling. I turned on the bed side light to see if one of my mental cats were nearby, only to find them clear across the room, snuggled up in my dog's bed, sound asleep. Talk about mildly freaked out. So then I lay there just looking around while waiting for this overly creepy feeling to go away. And it wasn't Mr. Husband as he had moved down to the guest room as soon as he felt the coughing fit coming on. 

I have felt a lot of anxiety this past month. Worse than normal. And I am thinking that maybe I may need to see someone to help me deal with it. I was diagnosed bipolar a few years back, but I went off the medications for it when the place I was going to insisted that in order to get our medications, we had to attend "group" therapy. They would then make you talk to all these strangers, and when you finally opened up, they didn't help you deal with any of the pain or problems. You only got to see a actual psychiatrist once a month. So to me, it was more damaging than good. I miss my Zoloft.

My head is always full of things to write, but it just seems the best ideas always come to me when I am nowhere near the computer and can't write them down. I'm going to start keeping a pad of paper next to the bed, next to the bathtub, and in my purse. Maybe then I'll get some new blogs going.  Besides the anxiety, I also have a bad case of a.d.d and I don't really concentrate on any one thing for a long amount of time. Anytime any new shiny pops up, I'm all like "oooooo" and I will forget what I was doing until a later time. I have many unfinished writings, drawings, paintings, and projects that are sitting half done because things like Castleville, Words with Friends, and Pinterest won't leave me alone.

I read the Hunger Games. I couldn't put it down, and I LOVED it. I started the second book but I have the itch to see the movie while the first book is still fresh in my head.  And I have to say, we rented The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Immortals, and I loved them both. I am going to have to buy them.
And on the subject of movies...our local Blockbuster is going out of business, so we swung by there and managed to get 20 movies, both dvd and blue ray, for 99 cents a pop. *does a little happy dance*
We haven't gone out and rented any movies from places like that since Redbox and On Demand (Fios) came along,

Mr. Husband took me trout fishing for the the first time. And after going, I am regretting not going more this winter. There is only a month left of the season before they start stocking catfish again. He caught 2 (a 3.4 pounder was his big catch) and I caught 4 smaller ones. I have to add that they are a exciting fight compared to catfish. I am addicted and want to go again a couple of times before the season switches over.

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