Sunday, August 5, 2012

Shit Mr. Hubby Says

  I used to hate summertime. I don't like being overly hot. On the same note, I hate winter as well because I hate being cold more than I hate being hot. I need to find a place to live where it is fall and spring all year round. (If anyone knows of this ideal location, let a girl know. This summer has been different for me though. In June, I started walking here and there to get myself out of the house. As July rolled around, I started going a bit farther for longer stretches. Come this month, I have walked 15 miles total the past week straight. That's right, a week straight. I might be a little addicted, possibly. I wait until just before the sun goes down before I go out, and I always take one, if not both, of the dogs with me. I have a pug and a chihuahua and I have to decide how far I am going to walk so I know which dog I am taking. My pug is a little on the heavy side and because she can only do about a mile, if I go farther than that, she stays home.
    For a couple of weeks, Mr. Hubby tried walking too but because of his injury, the pain it caused, and his lawyers recommendation, he had to stop. I feel bad because it was at least getting him out of the house and helping to lose the weight he needs to lose in order to have his knee surgery.I genuinely feel bad for him.
    On the upside, Mr. Hubby has lots to say in his downtime. And as you all know, I never know what is going to come out of his mouth at any given time...

"The Witches of Eastwick called, they want you to get off my back." - Said in reply to me supposedly nagging him about something. I am Wiccan so he found this comment extremely hilarious.

"Who died and made you the walking nazi?" - Said in a reply when I asked him what route he would like to take on one of our evening walks.

"Well thank you Ms. Jillian Michael!" - Said after I told him his time was getting better on our walks.

"Can't you just see me getting fatter"? - In reply to a new recipe I want to try out during the Yule celebration.

"Oh look honey, a group of your sisters..." - As he points to a set of wicker patio furniture. He thinks he's funny.

"If you were a wrestler, your wrestling name would be "The Sexy Cake Maker" - Stated well after I had his German chocolate cake in the oven.

"I love you honey. Quick question though....Can we have the sex tonight?" - He posted this one to my Facebook wall, full well knowing that the words "the sex" in a sentence like that works my last nerve. He heard it on a tv show and did this one over and over, even getting his friends involved. Then he went a step farther and went as far to get his mother to come into our room and ask if we were getting ready to have the sex.

"I love you with all my stomach because it's way bigger than my heart." - His reply after I told him I loved him with all my heart.

Am I the only one who has a man who says stuff like this? What about your guys?

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