Sunday, June 12, 2016

Shit Mr. Hubby Says...

Yeah yeah, it's been awhile. A lot of stuff happened in the last couple of months and I just haven't had it in me to write. I have had quite a few ideas on what I would like to get out, just never the will to do it. Mr. Hubby has been having a rough time. I don't blame him for feeling so depressed or wanting to sleep all the time, things haven't been that great. I am doing my best to be there for everyone and sometimes it just feels overwhelming. But the past couple of weeks, just at random moments, he has come up with some funny stuff that I made it a point daily to remember just for this blog.

We were watching the Dead Files and Amy was describing a guy she had seen who was wearing a stove pipe hat..and randomly, I said "with a button nose and two eyes made out of coal." Mr Hubby pipes in with "she is describing a man, not Frosty the fucking snow demon." I lost it.

We were watching another show, and something was brought up about King Tutankhamun and this is what followed,,,

Mr. Hubby - "I used to know King Tutankhamun."

Me - "Oh you did huh?"

Mr. Hubby - "Yeah, I was really close to him. I was his right hand man."

Me - Really?

Mr. Hubby - "Yeah they called me Tutan-notsocommon."

Me - "Seriously honey?"

Mr. Hubby - "Haha that was some funny shit right there."

  He watched The Green Inferno today. From what I understand from most of my friends who have seen it, it's a disgusting movie about cannibalism and not something I would want to watch. Well he didn't say too much about it until he turned off the tv to go to sleep tonight. I asked him as we were laying there talking about how the movie was, and he said it wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. But that it was gross, so I am kind of glad I didn't watch it, I had been warned and my stomach can't take stuff like it used to. So we were talking and the subject turned into the Amazon and being lost in it...

Mr. Hubby - "After seeing that movie, I would never want to be lost in the Amazon"

Me - "You will never be lost in the Amazon honey."

Mr. Hubby - "Hey, I could be."

Me - "And just how are you going to get lost there? You said you would never fly anywhere. Not even to go visit Kansas with me."

Mr. Hubby - "I would fly, I just won't fly at the weight I am now. And I would never fly to Kansas anyways, there is nothing to do there. You're zoos are nothing but farm animals."

Me - "Our zoos have more animals than just farm animals."

Mr. Hubby - "And I just don't see myself going to the local corn huskers festival."

Me - "I lived in Kansas my whole life, I have never even heard of a corn huskers festival."

Mr. Hubby - "Yeah, it's where people shuck corn."

Me - "Oh you got jokes. You act like I lived in some dinky town where everyone knows everything about everyone. My hometown was bigger than that. Not that I would want to go back there, the only thing back there is my ex husband and memories. From what I hear now, there is a pretty big drug problem."

Mr. Hubby - *mumbles something about it being the capital for meth heads* "Anyways, I wouldn't want to be lost in the Amazon.."

Me - "Just how are you going to get lost there? Where would we even be going to be flying over that area."

Mr. Hubby - "Brazil, Rio De Janiero. We could be going to the Olympics."

Me - "The Olympics are coming up this year, and how are we going to get there."

Mr. Hubby - "We could win the lottery."

Me - "Gotta play to win. We are broke,"

Mr. Hubby - "Okay okay, we could get lost on a three hour tour."

Me - "Where in the hell are you going to leave from here in states, on a three hour tour that would put you ANYWHERE near the Amazon Forest?"

Mr. Hubby - "FINE. A wormhole then."

Me - "And with that, I am getting out of bed and going on the computer for a bit."

Mr. Hubby - I just don't want to get lost in the Amazon and be eaten by cannibals."

Me - "Don't have to worry about that. I'll be back in a bit."

Mr. Hubby - "But I'll miss you."

  There was some other parts of the conversation about me not having a passport and us arguing about the plane crash. Me arguing that besides crashing, the trees would further tear up the plane, and him arguing they would cushion our fall and we would live. Some of the conversations we have just floor me. I tell him often that he has a good imagination and that he should write, but he won't do it simply because he has no faith in himself. Anyways, it was nice just laying there and him actually making jokes, he hasn't done it too much lately.

  I just re-read this and it seems scatterbrained. In a way it is, I did take two muscle relaxers and a norco before coming in here. I will save that for another blog.

  Hope all is well with you friends. Have a good rest of the weekend!


  1. Hey you forgot alien abduction that happens all the time.

  2. Too funny. By the way I am in your hometown that is something to see!!! Lol

  3. Too funny. By the way I am in your hometown that is something to see!!! Lol